| Greed: | High | |
| Gluttony: | Medium | |
| Wrath: | Medium | |
| Sloth: | Low | |
| Envy: | Low | |
| Lust: | Very High | |
| Pride: | Medium |
Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz
OK, SEEING AS YOU ASKED..
2 days ago
Friday, May 1, 2009
I
...am so not surprised.
Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz
Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Six
...weeks or so have gone by and here I am, sat in my own house again.
After the dumbass overreaction I displayed and alluded to in my last post, I went back and re-engaged.
I'm not going to whine on this blog about how my childhood was or anything, but it's fucking weird how, when the therapist asks a straight question like "How did that make you feel?", then "Can you remember a time in your near or distant past when something made you feel the same?", it invariably leads to traumatic events in my youth.
Being British, I always kept the stiff upper lip, never whined or complained about my lot. Like most Brits, I keep my mouth shut and get on with things.
How I've developed then,as an adult, is directly attributable to the things I experienced, good and bad, growing up. I never once considered this until therapy. It always seemed to be a bunch of shite for whiny, weak people who couldn't deal with life. I always thought "Fuck them" and looked to my own, flawed resolve to deal with problems and inevitably got it wrong.
Whats even more alarming to me is the idea that what I do as a parent is directly going to influence how my kid turns out and deals with her issues, which is fucking terrifying when you're suddenly considering your own inadequecies.
I hope I've realised it in time.
Listening to Rob Zombie - Demonoid Phenomenon(Sin Lives Remix)
After the dumbass overreaction I displayed and alluded to in my last post, I went back and re-engaged.
I'm not going to whine on this blog about how my childhood was or anything, but it's fucking weird how, when the therapist asks a straight question like "How did that make you feel?", then "Can you remember a time in your near or distant past when something made you feel the same?", it invariably leads to traumatic events in my youth.
Being British, I always kept the stiff upper lip, never whined or complained about my lot. Like most Brits, I keep my mouth shut and get on with things.
How I've developed then,as an adult, is directly attributable to the things I experienced, good and bad, growing up. I never once considered this until therapy. It always seemed to be a bunch of shite for whiny, weak people who couldn't deal with life. I always thought "Fuck them" and looked to my own, flawed resolve to deal with problems and inevitably got it wrong.
Whats even more alarming to me is the idea that what I do as a parent is directly going to influence how my kid turns out and deals with her issues, which is fucking terrifying when you're suddenly considering your own inadequecies.
I hope I've realised it in time.
Listening to Rob Zombie - Demonoid Phenomenon(Sin Lives Remix)
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Well
...that was quite a week. Started with getting a cold on Monday which has progressively worsened until this morning, feeling like I was swallowing razor blades and deaf in my left ear, I went to the doctor. He said I have an infection.
No Shit?
Anyhow, at least no I can see light at the end on this miserable tunnel of snot.
Part 2 of Marriage Counselling didn't go quite so well, as she didn't turn up until 10 minutes after the session had started. Unfortunately with her this is another facet of her personality, she's always late for everything. I think it's disrespectful to everyone involved to arrive late to a meeting or appointment, and when she wasn't there after 10 minutes, I took off and went home.
As usual the phone calls began almost right away, how the traffic was bad etc. I agree, the traffic was bad, which is why I checked the traffic report and left early enough to get there by fucking 4 o'clock. I drove on the same streets and through the same traffic and got there at 3.53 pm. If I can do it, anyone can.
Like Forrest Gump said, that's all I have to say about that.
No Shit?
Anyhow, at least no I can see light at the end on this miserable tunnel of snot.
Part 2 of Marriage Counselling didn't go quite so well, as she didn't turn up until 10 minutes after the session had started. Unfortunately with her this is another facet of her personality, she's always late for everything. I think it's disrespectful to everyone involved to arrive late to a meeting or appointment, and when she wasn't there after 10 minutes, I took off and went home.
As usual the phone calls began almost right away, how the traffic was bad etc. I agree, the traffic was bad, which is why I checked the traffic report and left early enough to get there by fucking 4 o'clock. I drove on the same streets and through the same traffic and got there at 3.53 pm. If I can do it, anyone can.
Like Forrest Gump said, that's all I have to say about that.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Aha
...now, Cynnie's comment about the problem being me isn't entirely alien to me.
After I separated from the wife, I kinda started to wonder why all the women I meet and am attracted to always have substance abuse problems?
The notion that maybe I'm enough of a cunt to drive them to this state did cross my mind, so I signed up for therapy. (I know, I'm soooo American these days).
The first thing she hit on, as is customary, was my family dynamics. Like anyone else, my family are pretty fucked up with disputes and fights between siblings and parents etc. I got into the fucked up childhood I went through, being beaten by my Dad with regularity, caned on a couple of occasions, drinking, drugs, fighting etc. The thing she noticed while I went into this whole story was the lack of emotion I showed when I told her everything. She said it was like I was reading it from a book. I told her it's because I really don't "feel" anything about it any more, it was what it was, I've moved on.
Question is, is that lack of emotion how I appear to deal with every other issue that confronts me? I have to say yes. I don't cry about shit, sit me down and tell me something is broken, my first response is not to lament it's breakage, its "How do I fix it"? Apparently this is a major stumbling block in the communication between Men and Women, and frankly it's news to me. Women want men to know they have feelings about situations, but still want us to be men and fix them, while men ignore this vital part of the dynamic and rush in to mend the problem. The woman's feelings often go unacknowledged.
This is my first area of self-improvement. I will try hard to understand why a woman is upset about something and respect and acknowledge those feelings. This is a major fucking undertaking for me, because touchy-feely shit isn't in my nature, so wish me luck.
Listening to The Bravery - The Ring Song
After I separated from the wife, I kinda started to wonder why all the women I meet and am attracted to always have substance abuse problems?
The notion that maybe I'm enough of a cunt to drive them to this state did cross my mind, so I signed up for therapy. (I know, I'm soooo American these days).
The first thing she hit on, as is customary, was my family dynamics. Like anyone else, my family are pretty fucked up with disputes and fights between siblings and parents etc. I got into the fucked up childhood I went through, being beaten by my Dad with regularity, caned on a couple of occasions, drinking, drugs, fighting etc. The thing she noticed while I went into this whole story was the lack of emotion I showed when I told her everything. She said it was like I was reading it from a book. I told her it's because I really don't "feel" anything about it any more, it was what it was, I've moved on.
Question is, is that lack of emotion how I appear to deal with every other issue that confronts me? I have to say yes. I don't cry about shit, sit me down and tell me something is broken, my first response is not to lament it's breakage, its "How do I fix it"? Apparently this is a major stumbling block in the communication between Men and Women, and frankly it's news to me. Women want men to know they have feelings about situations, but still want us to be men and fix them, while men ignore this vital part of the dynamic and rush in to mend the problem. The woman's feelings often go unacknowledged.
This is my first area of self-improvement. I will try hard to understand why a woman is upset about something and respect and acknowledge those feelings. This is a major fucking undertaking for me, because touchy-feely shit isn't in my nature, so wish me luck.
Listening to The Bravery - The Ring Song
Sunday, February 15, 2009
It
..seems the stereotypical airhead image of a model is not entirely undeserved if the date I had on Friday is anything to go by. Nice girl and all, but thoroughly uninteresting and even though I gave in and gave her a portion, it was only one notch above whacking off in terms of interesting interchange and as a result I won't be going back. Interestingly she's also a recovering alcoholic. How the fuck do I pick 'em?
In fact, the more people I meet, date, hang out with etc. the more I think the transformation the wife has undergone as a result of my leaving - off anti-depressants, working out again, not drinking and so forth has prompted me to agree to something I never thought I would. I've agreed to go to marriage counselling with her.
I'm not moving back in, nor do I have any great expectations as I'm still not entirely convinced that this "return to the woman I loved" is for real.
However, as I think I've alluded to before I believe she's the one I was meant to be with (and recent disasters aren't dispelling this notion) and so I should give it every opportunity to fail disasterously, and so here I am.
If you have an inside line with the man (or woman) upstairs, put a word in for me?
Listening to nothing. Just finished watching "Zombie Strippers".
In fact, the more people I meet, date, hang out with etc. the more I think the transformation the wife has undergone as a result of my leaving - off anti-depressants, working out again, not drinking and so forth has prompted me to agree to something I never thought I would. I've agreed to go to marriage counselling with her.
I'm not moving back in, nor do I have any great expectations as I'm still not entirely convinced that this "return to the woman I loved" is for real.
However, as I think I've alluded to before I believe she's the one I was meant to be with (and recent disasters aren't dispelling this notion) and so I should give it every opportunity to fail disasterously, and so here I am.
If you have an inside line with the man (or woman) upstairs, put a word in for me?
Listening to nothing. Just finished watching "Zombie Strippers".
Monday, February 9, 2009
Where's
...the fucking html code??
What's Your 80s Karaoke Song?
You Are "Love Shack"
If you were transported back to the 80s, you would enjoy anything and everything underground.
You love the alternative aspects of 80s culture, and you're a bit disappointed that they've been forgotten over time.
You'd be goth, punk, new wave, or a rapper. Just not a yuppie, a preppy, or a jock!
You would relish living in a time where identifying with a subculture actually meant something.
What's Your 80s Karaoke Song?
You Are "Love Shack"
If you were transported back to the 80s, you would enjoy anything and everything underground.
You love the alternative aspects of 80s culture, and you're a bit disappointed that they've been forgotten over time.
You'd be goth, punk, new wave, or a rapper. Just not a yuppie, a preppy, or a jock!
You would relish living in a time where identifying with a subculture actually meant something.
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